What the heck does the doctor know anyway?

In Uncategorized on May 11, 2013 at 11:04 pm

About seven years ago I had a conversation with my doctor about weight loss and the possible paths I could take to lose the nearly 200 pounds.  I had asked him about exercise, eating habits and a variety of other plans of attack and he looked me in the eye and said rather bluntly, “Someone your size will never lose the weight without surgery”.  This simple statement sent me reeling as I had never considered the fact that I would be a fat man the rest of my life unless I could find a way to have the much talked about weight loss surgery.   I took the words of this medical professional to heart and convinced myself that weight loss for me will only come at the end of a scalpel.

I spent the better part of a year pursuing this surgery only to find roadblocks in front of me at every turn.  My insurance carrier would not cover the expenses unless I jumped through a series of hoops that included what seemed to be constant medical tests, three sleep studies and a mental health evaluation which proved once and for all I was not crazy.  It was only after these obstacles were overcome that I was approved for surgery and a date was set to start my massive weight loss.

The surgery was completed, the recovery time was short and I learned to live with what was called a lap band that would restrict the amount of food I could take in at one time.  I experienced initial success and lost nearly fifty pounds within the first two months and thought I was on my way to unlocking the skinny man inside of me that was crying to get out.  And then it happened. I learned that I could cheat just a little bit and still lose some weight.  I could eat a slice of pizza and not have any negative side effects.  I realized that items such as cake and cookies went down without any limitations especially when washed down with a liquid chaser.  I found that, before long I could eat whatever it is I wanted as long as I took my time and ate in small bites.  I found out that the weight loss surgery was not the magic fix my doctor made it out to be as I was putting weight back on my body and sabotaging my goals I had set for when I lost my weight.

I had quickly found out that the weight loss surgery that I had hoped and prayed would be my savior from my personal prison was nothing more than another excuse to blame myself for failure.  My mind told me that there was no way this weight was going to come off because even surgery couldn’t do the trick.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would forever be a fat man and would never again experience many of the joys in life I had so badly wished for.  I decided that if this weight was not going to drop off of me that I would just go ahead and enjoy my life the best I can, despite my size.  I went ahead and ate what I wanted, threw up a few times as a result of the lap band actually doing its job but generally found myself finding love in the foods that I consumed.  Even though I found comfort in the Golden Arches and other fast food establishments I could not escape the nagging thoughts in my head my there was no way I would ever live to see my 70th birthday, let alone possibly my 60th.  I knew I had to do something drastic to change or else face a certain death by diabetes, heart attack or some other fat related death.

A month ago my wife decided she was going to start a Weight Watchers program and, after seeing others in my family have great success on system I decided I was going to give it a try.  Even though my physician’s words were still ringing in my head, reminding me that someone my size will never lose the weight I need to lose, I wanted to prove him wrong.  My weight loss is still a work in progress but after a full month into tracking my foods, increasing my amount of walking and staying away from those cookies and cakes that so easily slipped by the lap band, I am down 21 pounds.  When someone has two hundred pounds to lose, twenty one is almost a drop in the bucket but to me it represents a victory.  A victory over powerful words meant to destroy and a victory over a battle in my mind that brought me to this point of weighing a quarter of a ton.  Twenty one pounds tells me that someone my size can have a victory over weight without the need for surgical intervention.  Twenty one pounds tells me that my dreams of having a normal life not stopped by excessive weight can actually happen and do not have to be anything but a dream.


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