Andrew

Archive for July, 2013|Monthly archive page

Stacks-O-Pants

In Uncategorized on July 2, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Probably one of the worst parts of being fat is that I have been forced to look at stacks of pants and jeans that I have collected in my closet that I have been unable to fit into. Many of these pants still have tags on them from a failed catalog purchase or are jeans were purchased at the correct size but they were just cut wrong. Most of these items were so small on me that the only way I could fit into them was to lay on the bed and have my wife pull them on me like she was pulling on a brand new pair of cowboy boots. I literally had this stack of pants/jeans sitting in my closet for years, sitting there, mocking me, reminding me of hopeful times but yet I could never fit into them. Why didn’t I get rid of them? Well I was going to lose weight of course. I knew that someday would eventually come but I was just not sure when. That time has come!!

A few weeks ago I decided that I might actually have a shot at these clothes fitting without making me look like a sack of potatoes that was about to bust through their bag. I pulled the previously mentioned jeans from the pile and to my great surprise I was able to pull them up to the place in which they should be. No saggy butt jeans that showed my underwear for me but jeans that actually fit the way they are supposed to. I then excitedly grabbed the slacks that were once angrily thrown into the back of the closet and found I no longer had a need to be angry as they now also fit. One by one I pulled items from the pile and each time I did so I found my wardrobe had increased. Fresh from my success at getting this stack of pants to properly fit I ventured to the dusty back corner of the closet where shirts I have not been able to wear in a few years resided. To my surprise these shirts also now fit me because of my recent weight loss. My happiness was tempered by the fact that these shirts were probably very much out of style and should only be worn around the house or when I need a rag to wash the car with. I am no slave to fashion but even I recognize that these clothing items would probably earn me a spot on the People of Wal Mart web site if I were to wear them in public. Never the less, my recent weight loss has allowed me to greatly expand my selection of clothing while reducing my overall weight.

While I am sure there are many things greater than fitting into long forgotten clothes but I am hard pressed to find anything that would equal this monumental feat. You see, these clothes represented a terrible time in my life in which I knew I was increasing my waistline but would not allow myself to be honest about it. I would buy clothes that were the size I was hoping I would be and not the size I was at that time all the while falling deeper into the abyss of weight gain. We had moved a number of times in the last five years and each time this stack stayed with me, hidden away like the shame of being a 500 pound man. I never wanted to admit to myself that these clothes didn’t fit me just like I would never see the actual fat man staring back at me in the mirror each morning. After all, if I couldn’t see it then it wasn’t true. A lie I would constantly tell myself and one I would constantly believe.

As great as this success is I cannot help but to use it as fuel to my weight loss fire. I love getting back into these clothes but my mind cannot help but wonder what it will be like to get into clothes that I used to only dream about. The freebie shirts they occasionally gave away at work, the sports jerseys I always wanted to own but would never find in my size, the suit I always wanted to buy but I was sure I looked terrible in. Fitting into these long forgotten clothes is only the tip of the ice berg to me as there are so many other things I want to do once I lose the weight but being able to dress nice and have someone look at me because I am smartly dressed and not because of my size is something that is no longer a dream but a very real possibility.