Andrew

Stalled………..

In Uncategorized on November 10, 2013 at 3:47 am

As I write this I am just about feeling back to normal after battling a terrible case of bronchitis and, as the doctor put it…nearly pneumonia.  Sadly, this has greatly hindered my attempt to lose more weight and I have to finally admit I will more than likely fall short of my goal of losing 80 pounds by New Year ’s Day.  I had been hindered from doing much walking as each step would undoubtedly cause me to cough uncontrollably which is not a good thing where you are trying your best to stay on your feet and walking any sort of distance. As I mentioned, I am finally feeling much better and can resume my exercise this coming week.

Taking this time off has not been all that detrimental to me as I have not gained back any of the weight I have lost but it has taken the edge off of the focus I had previously.  I find myself slacking and falling back into some old ways of thinking that I have to work to avoid.  It is so easy to get back into a bad habit and find myself back into the same old ruts I was in before I started this weight loss journey.  Deciding to not take a walk because I just don’t feel like it or eating something I know will only cause pounds to be put back on are the battles I find myself waging day after day.  After sitting around for nearly three weeks with this bronchitis the battle has become larger for me.  I need to power through this and continually remind myself the reasons why I am losing the weight and not fall for the momentary satisfaction that a drive through can bring me.

One thought that I continue to have in my head is that I am envisioning myself smaller than I really am. I am thrilled that I have lost 52 pounds and feel so much better than I did when I was larger but the stark reality is that I am still an obese man.  Even though the 500 pound signpost is but a distant memory, the point is 449 pounds doesn’t make me a shadow of my former self by any stretch of the imagination.   I am still fat and I still have a long way to go before I am where I want to be.  It feels like I am feeling satisfied at my current weight and I need to knock that thought out of my head to keep powering through this weight loss journey.  I am not sure what it will take to make me lose the idea that I am happy where I am at because all the things that motivated me at the beginning are still there.  Prayer and determination are about my only hope at this time. 

The November winds are blowing and the fall crispness of the air is making way for the winter freeze which would normally signal a hibernation of sorts for me.  A season of listlessness followed by eating any number of comfort foods was the way I would usually survive the winter months but I am determined to avoid the hibernation factor this winter.  I have no excuses as I have a large and warm building at work in which I can easily walk each day to get my daily dose of exercise.  I am still holding out hope that I can find a bike trainer that I can afford so that I can ride my bike in the basement which will only help to increase my weight loss.  Anyone have one they want to sell cheap?  LOL

Bottom line is I have been lulled into a sense of comfort and need to reignite the fires that drove me to put down the chocolate bunny the day after Easter, 2013 and decide I was sick and tired of being who I was.  It is back to the drawing board for me and changes are going to be made once again to get me to where I need to be.

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